Destiny's story about the molar...

So- wow. I have REALLY neglected this blog!  My apologies- I have been feeling excited about doing it again and have the- let's do it energy so- let's shoot for it!

So- for those who don't know what's been going on, or only know part of the story, I'm gonna just share everything now, and get everyone on the same page! :) * caution, I'm telling the story and am not putting filters in for people that it might be TMI (too much info) for.

     So at the very beginning of this month- last couple days of May, I started cramping & spotting. I had been a nursing mother since our Jae was born and haven't had a period so my first thought was, "oh- Aunt flo's coming back!" After about a week of just cramping & spotting, I began to wonder what the heck was going on with my body. Scott noticed I was beginning to be especially sensitive & emotional. So I took a pregnancy test. "Positive" oh- surprise, ok.

     I started during research, and thinking all the cramping & spotting may be early signs for a miscarriage, or a tubal pregnancy. I went to a women's clinic and they did a pregnancy test and limited ultrasound.  My mom came with me and watched my girls, while I was seen.  The ultrasound showed a pregnancy sac in the uterus- so not a tubal! yay! But it was a small clinic, and their equipment wasn't designed to diagnose, or anything just determine a due date for those who don't know based off cycles. I rested more comfortably that night, knowing that it wasn't a tubal!
    
     I did however recognize that there was a good chance it would result in a miscarriage, because all the cramping & spotting I was having. Scott and I decided that we wouldn't tell anyone about the positive pregnancy test, until after I was seen by an actual Dr. I've known too many women that announced their pregnancy- and later miscarried and had to emotionally go through that disappointment, and having to tell everyone- etc. I know how hard it was for them, and I didn't want that. So we decided to keep it to ourselves until we knew more. And besides, the first thing everyone asks when they find out one is pregnant is, "when's your due date?!" and that was a very rough estimation, and very change-able still. (it would've been early Feb-ish).
    
     Anyway, a couple weeks pass, and everyday I'm still in pain & spotting. Only now everyday its a little worse, until early Friday morning on June 28 I was awakened by severe pain. I went to the bathroom and discovered I had completely saturated my feminine napkin. I decided to go the the ER and get checked out. After a urine sample, pelvic exam, ultrasound, blood work it was discovered that I had a molar pregnancy,   An article from babycenter defines it as, "A molar pregnancy happens when a fertilized egg develops into a growth called a mole instead of into a normal embryo." Here's the link for the full article : learn more about Molar pregnancy
    
     Thankfully, my OB was on staff at the hospital that night and was informed about everything just before shift change- (coincidence, I think not!) She made the decision to get me immediately into surgery called in a colleague to come and do it (since she was going home now). They took me in, and did a D&C to remove the tissue. Thankfully, the Dr waited until Scott got there so I could give him a kiss before going in. And- my little sister took over watching my girls. The procedure went well, and about 45 min later I was in recovery. It took me awhile to come out of being "under". Apparently the anesthesia works well on me! ;)

     Emotionally Scott and I are both well. We are not too upset about the pregnancy loss- I had been emotionally preparing for it all along. Scott is a little bummed, but very grateful that I am safe and should be better. We weren't trying to get pregnant, but if it had turned out we would've loved and welcomed that child whole heartedly! I am slightly relieved that there will be a little more of an age gap between Jaelyn and the next child- although now it will be longer than what we would ideally choose it we could.

     I have to have weekly checkups until my hcg levels reach negative again. Blood drawn once a week until then, and then monthly after that. A normal pregnant women about 2months pregnant has an hcg count around  20,000-30,000. Mine at the hospital was 97,365! It'll take a few weeks for that to drop and my pregnancy symptoms to disappear. They have to monitor my levels and make sure that all of the tissue is gone, because if any remains it can turn cancerous. -You can read about all that on your own though- the link I provided earlier talks about some of it. There are other sources though that go into more detail. I was fine reading it over form the papers the Dr gave me, and quite frankly don't want to think about it.  it scares me to pieces! So- we acknowledge that it is a risk if all doesn't go well during the healing & recovery process, and drop it. I have more important places to put my energy!

     It is crucial that I do not get pregnant for 12 months as of now, while I fully recover from this molar pregnancy. Obviously if it does take a worse case scenario, it would be longer but as of now that's what my OB is sticking with. We originally wanted our kids to all be 2-3yrs apart. so this may make it longer than that- which is slightly disappointing. However, we'll take what we can and be happy with the blessing we receive. Like, health, and our beautiful girls, and that we can still have kids, and this shouldn't affect future ability to have kids. -We just have to wait a lil' bit. So until then I get to look forward to seeing my OB a lot! 

     I want to thank all those that have shown their love and support. The texts, emails, and phone calls asking how I was really did help me feel better and smile. I realize that not everyone knew- and know that you guys love me too! I am especially grateful for the service that we've been shown, the free babysitting can't be easy! Thanks! And your prayers that it will all heal well and NOT turn into chemo treatments this fall would also be great! (ok, so I am still kinda freakin out about it- even though I try to forget it!) After my weekly Dr visits are over (in about 2months) we should have a pretty good idea that that it'll either be ok from here on out or- not. We love all of you- and are so grateful to be blessed with friends and family!

     Funny side note: Terra knows a little bit about what's going on. As everyone should know she is pretty strong and enjoys playing rough. So during my few weeks of pain whenever she'd try to climb on me or jump on me I'd say, "owie Terra. mommy tummy hurts, you can't do that. Please be soft" So yesterday Terra had some gas all day, and last night she tells me, "my tummy hurts. I have-a- go doctor. Be soft mommy.- then she kisses me, lifts my shirt, lifts her shirt, lays on me skin-to-skin, and says we both have bad bellies mommy."  This girl is too cute and sweet!

     And sorry to anyone that has seen my house in the last few weeks. Most of the time, it was all I could do to take care of kids, and really didn't feel up-to cleaning. So- its been a disaster! At least now- maybe it's a little easier to overlook it and not see me as a slob- although I do admit, I can be at times.

     Anyway- much love! ~Destiny.



*** Update: 10/9/2013 
So- I am so much better and so much more relieved! Here's my downward quest:
@hospital: 97.365
week 1: 3,790
week 2: 2,317
week 3: 52
week 4: 20
week 5: NA- (missed this week)
week 6: 11
week 7: 9
week 8: 5
week 9: 3
week 10: NA (missed this week)
week 11: 2
Month 2: (blood drawn yesterday- still awaiting results)

So I am now on monthly blood draws :) The weekly ones weren't bad but some much better to just have to go once a week. Thanks for all the love through weeks 6-8! I know I was a wreck then! ~I was supposed to be negative by week 6... which I wasn't so the doctor said she'd give me until week 8 to get negative, and if I wasn't negative by then she would put a call in to the specialists and probably start me on chemo-yikes! Oh and she said for her office's purposes anything under 5 would be considered a negative result. lol- (I can laugh about it now, but then it was not funny!) I barely made it the ...... of my the.... ok I actually can't recall the cliché right now! lol. but I barely made it. The Dr had to contemplate on whether she'd consider the 5 negative- (because she had said earlier less than 5)... Thankfully though I am not on chemo treatments and I am staying negative! I am doing very well- physically and emotionally now- and am glad to have this- for the most part- behind me! I will update this post with the rest of my monthly draw numbers as I get them, just so I have my whole story in one place- Thanks for your love and support! Life is truly wonderful! And the joys of the gospel and the love & comfort the Savior provides is truly amazing! ~Destiny